'Fraidy Cat

There is only one thing I'm more afraid of then being alone forever, being with someone that isn't right for me forever. I just realized this as I was pouting about the most recent denial. I was blogging on my myspace (which is becoming more and more like a ghost town every second) when I finally realized it. I had decided that it was once again time to crawl back into the center of focus that has almost become my escape from the harsh world. I see the very apparent danger all too clearly now, I'm desperate for someone to hold me, for someone to tell me they love me and mean it, but I am more afraid of someone taking advantage of my vulnerability than I am desperate. It leaves me trapped spinning in circles in the line, never reaching to the actual roller coaster. I've always felt the only way to over come one's fears was to acknowledge them and then confront them. This is a bit more straight forward than I would like to be, but I feel like if I continue to force myself to think through these emotions the braver I'll become and the sooner I'll get myself so dizzy I'll have to stop and realize that I'm still waiting in line. Hopefully there will be someone brave enough to go on the ride ahead with me.