So Much Free Time, So Many Thoughts...

I'm currently without a job and without a thing to do.  I'm alone for most of the days, and that allows for a lot of time to think. Thinking can be a dangerous practice. Sometimes I can mentally pick at myself until I'm in tears.  Other times I convince myself of things that aren't necessarily true. Lately I've been thinking about relationships a lot. What it takes to have a relationship that works. The first thing I think is that it all starts with a good friendship. If you are good friends everything else is just a bonus on top of the friendship. I can't think of anything better than being in a relationship with my best friend (figuratively speaking, I am not in love with my best friend lol). With a friendship comes the open conversations, honesty, and the give and take that all relationships need to survive. To be honest, I don't even really know why I've been thinking about it so much. I'm single, I have been single for a very long time.  I don't know if I'm just waiting for the right guy, or if perhaps its still not time. I'm waiting, trying to be patient, I know things will work out when its time, but all the waiting is starting to take its toll. I'm terrified that I'm going to be waiting forever. What if prince charming doesn't rescue the princess from the tower? What if all my thoughts mean nothing, just fairy tale ideas that I cling to in order to make it through another day. I'm not the kind of girl to wait for prince charming to rescue me, but rescuing myself leaves me alone. And that is a very scary place to be.